Forbidden From Time, Forbidden Words
These are forbidden words cause they have already been written.
Thrown straight like a steady rolling rocketship from the everlasting ether onto a printing press stencil or painters canvas or unrolled puce papyrus or spoken back into the vast ether or some other medium I haven’t a mind for.
The transgression of these forbidden products is multifold cause these words have not only been put out somewhere before but have been strung together in the same order I am doing now on some medium in some land.
It births or resurfaces an important question that regularly floats around in my mind: Is any of the writing mine, is any of the creation mine, any of my experience mine, is any of this time, this trip, this life, mine? And solidly mine at that?
The answer –an expectedly wavering and frail conviction at that– arrives within my mind quicker than most conclusions, like a fleeting flash of lightning, and reveals itself as simple as an instinctive need to inhale.
The answer is most certainly a no.
None of this, not one tiny speck, sizable glop, nor anything from iota to infinity of this life is truly and solidly — or even remotely –mine.
For a time I guessed that the only original thing I’ve done In my life is make up my own language with my pen pal from Hawaii as a sub 10 year old.
And when the pride of my ego is dissolved with further inspection it’s clear to see I’m not the first nor the last to make a language, for christ’s sake just look how many languages are around.
It’s a proper and fairly firm conclusion within my mind’s thoughts, eyes eyesight, and hearts feelin that I couldn’t grow a tree, nor dream up a sky that was as original as some unscaped land or sea or any other worldly and universal phenomena.
And to think that my words could exhibit a sliver of natural originality is pure selfish dogshit thinking.
I’m nothing but a puttering putz prophesying about horsesshit and god dammit i wont stop stringing these forbidden words together till my breath itself becomes forbidden in time.
